We don't understand all this fuss about Apple's new iPhone when we've had something very similar in London for ages. Here's one at London Bridge showing off its UNMOUNTABLE_BOOT_VOLUME feature:

Things the London Bridge phone has over the iPhone:

• You won't lose it (or the shifty teenager checking it for forgotten change every ten minutes)

• No lost sleep over worry about it getting scratched (more than it is)

• No battery replacement issues (lots of coin replacement issues though)

• You won't get mugged for one (although you may get mugged near one)

• It doesn't have that annoying little lower case letter in front of it that symbolises everything that is wrong with the world today