After the (non-)scandal of (un-)banned Tube posters, the works of Lucas Cranach the Elder are now well and truly on show at the Royal Academy. Painter, print-maker, illustrator, businessman, propagandist, and huge fan of the female nude, this is Cranach's first major exhibition in Britain. And while you're gazing at all the nakedness, remember; this was a mate of Martin Luther, and those erotic female nudes are all about Protestant devotion. Honest. Openings Ahoy!......

You know when you hear a new band and you immediately love their songs. You wait and wait and finally you see them live and it's all ruined. Live they were absolutely rubbish. Well screw all that, because we finally saw Dead Disco live on Saturday night in Blackpool and they blew us away. Tight, professional and with one of the most impressive front people we've ever seen, we stomped around the dancefloor like......

Estate agents, Tess Daly, and racists - sounds grim, doesn't it? Yes, perhaps to reflect the unrelenting yuckiness of the weather (look, it's almost April - please can we have a little, just a little sunshine?) the TV schedules are about s appetising as day-old tramp sick. Apart from the old stalwarts (Footballers Wive$ Thur 9pm ITV1 - Tanya is back! With Joan Collins!, and Desperate Housewives Wed 10pm C4 - getting better again......

Thirty years ago last week, Queen released what was arguably their most extravagant album, A Night At The Opera. The critics had a field day, panning the band for having the audacity to mix prog rock with music-hall, opera and vaudeville with such overblown pomposity. The album debuted at number one regardless, and is still regarded as Queen's masterpiece today. But that was Queen through and through: hated by the press, adored by the public.......

It's been a long time since a record has divided Londonist as much as One Way Ticket To Hell And Back, the latest from The Darkness. Perhaps it's because we're made up of so many spods and rockers that as soon as it appeared on My Space everyone wanted a say. What is it, Sunday already? So here we are at the kick off. Who wins? You decide. ‘One Way Ticket To Hell… And......

We have that BBC alert gizmo where BREAKING NEWS pops up on the desktop to thundering dramatic music - it only ever seems to bring bad news like just now when we learned that Mo Mowlam died. It never pops up to say Kittens Are Cute or to even state the obvious like Norman Tebbit Is Still A Night-Walking Caricature Right Wing Racist Fuck, Impervious To The March Of Time, IRA Bombs And Silver......