The Heathrow near-disaster was apparently caused by 'lack of thrust'. Gordo sings the praises of the flight crew. 'Metric martyr' to be tried by jury for using Imperial weights. Busted by police from Scotland Yard 0.19444 metres. Did Ken break the rules at the last Mayoral election, asks C4 programme "I know it's a bit scruffy and worn at the edges and some of its ugliness is inexcusable," says Bob Geldof about Kent. Or......

Hello Jeff! Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum - it's Christmas time! Happy Saint Jesus Day, to almost all of you! And what an event it is - a time for giving, sharing, and taking; a time for thinking about the past, as well as looking forward to the future, all the while contemplating the here and now; a time of remembrance and joy, coupled with inebriation, rage, and light misogyny. And......

Gorillas have been getting a rather good press of late in London. The Gorilla Kingdom at London Zoo, which opened in March, has seen huge numbers of visitors trudging up Regent's Park way to gawp at resident lowland gorillas Bobby, Zaire and Effie swing about their new home. Meanwhile, a television ad featuring a sullen simian being sparked into life by the crashing drum break of Phil Collins 'In The Air Tonight' has become......

Governor of California and Austrian über-man Arnold Schwarzenegger will be travelling to London on Sunday to meet Blair, reciprocating a visit Blair made to America's most populous state last year where the pair announced a trans-Atlantic alliance to tackle greenhouse gas emissions. Obviously, Arnie has experience of dealing with such global problems before, namely the T-1000, a super terminator that could morph into anything that it had had physical contact with. The T-1000 wanted......

Londonist has commented on the 'The Avenue Of The Stars' in Covent Garden before. But, just in case you'd forgotten, let us remind you of our position: this is a complete waste of time. Firstly, ITV is behind it and this makes it inherently rubbish. Secondly, it has no real worth and no discernible benefit for the city. So it is with a heavy heart that we report that the 'Avenue' is due to......

Ok, so you've had time to digest all the messages behind Saturday's Live 8 concert, you've signed up to support Make Poverty History and you may even be on your way up to Edinburgh tomorrow. So isn't it about time the national media started printing some fluffy, meaningless celebrity-centered stories to give our poor brains a rest? And the question everyone's asking about Live 8 is: what the hell was going on with Pete......

Rockford is "a big, friendly puppy with a bit of a wind problem," who lives at Battersea Dogs Home. But, despite his occassional bowel problems, Rockford is all set to become the Bob Geldof of the canine community, as he's releasing a Christmas single to help out the Dogs Home. Christmas Morning (Rockford's Christmas Song) is a "an unashamedly catchy Christmas ditty outlining the adventures of Rockford and his friends at Battersea", but don't......