Gothamist learned about the craziest urban nightmare come true: A huge python found in the bathroom pipes. It was also a nightmare for some Yankees fans, as manger Joe Torre declined to come back and manage the Bronx Bombers. At least the city's attempt to give some direction to subway riders was interesting, pranksters went shirtless at the Fifth Avenue Abercrombie & Fitch and the I Heart Brooklyn Girls calendars came out. And just......

As a wise man once said, "Bloody hell, it's Soft Cell!" Well, actually, it's not Soft Cell. It's just Marc Almond solo. And the man wasn't all that wise. It was Alan Partridge. Either way, though, Monday gives you a chance to see Marc Almond of Soft Cell at Shepherd's Bush Empire. It's his 50th birthday party, so buy him something nice. For those whose prefer sax to synth, septuagenarian free jazz legend Ornette Coleman......