The travails of our fantasy football team of capital-born players. Read previous entries here. With Matthew Kelly nowhere in sight, Arsenal yesterday put on such a convincing performance as a championship-contending side that it was tempting to think Stars In Their Eyes was being re-commissioned. The Gunners' bi-polar personality guarantees that you can never tell which team will turn up. The one that limped to defeats against Hull, Stoke, Middlesbrough? Or the one that......

The travails of our fantasy football team of capital-born players. Read previous entries here. After a four-week spell of pulling improbable rabbits out of a variety of hats, Harry Houdini could only disgorge a dead bunny from his bowler on Saturday, which, though it may be bad news for Spurs, is surely good news for sport scribes everywhere who'd long exhausted their magician metaphor medley, as this tired opening demonstrates. Tottenham fell to their......

The travails of our fantasy football team of capital-born players. Read previous entries here. January 30th, 2008: Barack Obama was an outsider for the Democratic nomination, Boris Johnson that affable bloke who often presented a popular TV quiz show, and the word "credit crunch" had yet to become a fixture on the dinner party conversation circuit. It was also the last time West Ham managed to keep a clean sheet in the Premier League,......

The travails of our fantasy football team of capital-born players. Read previous entries here. What a difference a week makes. As of this weekend, the mantle of north London's "crisis club" has been tacked on to the team in N5. Though Spurs still reside in the gutter, they are looking toward the stars, while Arsenal's place among the celestial elite seems unsteady. The Gunners slipped to a 2-1 defeat at Stoke on Saturday, the......

The travails of our fantasy football team of capital-born players. Read previous entries here. Despite his infrequent appearances this season, we decided to ignore our vow of a fortnight ago and offer Ledley King a stay of execution in the Londonist United side. Seemingly fighting fit, in a must-win game against lowly Stoke, surely King would get a game? Would he 'eck. Juande Ramos made the bewildering decision to leave his finest defender on......

The travails of our fantasy football team of capital-born players. Read previous entries here. As the good ship Spurs sinks and every subeditor stretches for the inevitable naval metaphor, one wonders about the last time both North London teams were humbled at home in the same week. We've no Statto on the books, so anybody with an answer please leave us a comment, but it's rare that both should lose in quick succession against......

Photo of Emirates Stadium by Herschell Hershey via the Londonist pool The travails of our fantasy football team of capital-born players. Read previous entries here Stunned Gooners fans were the rueful subjects for 24 hours worth of mirth by their north London rivals over the weekend. On Saturday, Arsenal were humbled at home by Hull, who came back from a single goal deficit to record the shock of the season by beating Wenger's team 2-1.......

The travails of our fantasy football team of capital-born players. Read previous entries here Last week's European action left us wishing Champions League or (soon to be renamed) Uefa Cup goals counted in the Prem. Chelsea's binge on Bordeaux saw Londonist United's Frank Lampard and Joe Cole on the scoresheet, while elsewhere Portsmouth's away win involved the inevitable Jermain Defoe goal and a clean sheet for Sol Campbell. There may have been a Euro......

A fortnight free of Premier League fixtures saw redemption for the national side and the rise of a new England hero, not to mention one of the most chaotic transfer weeks in living memory. This weekend it was back to Blighty with a bump for Londonist United, our team of capital-reared characters, as we enter week four. Yesterday, new British transfer record signing Robinho lined up for his first game in England wearing a......

Last season Leeds United started their League One campaign fifteen points in the hole, a mandatory FA penalty for any club that goes into administration during the football year. Londonist United, our fantasy crew of London-born players, finds itself in a similar situation; not because of any financial regularity (heck, we managed to assemble a cracking capital team with change from £50m), but we were too busy clowning around in August to actually register......

At midnight on September 1st, the football transfer window will slam shut, and in the final two days a rush of players will be defenestrated, squeezed through and sent across the country and beyond as last-minute deals are sealed and questionable buys rubber-stamped by dubious chairmen. The lucre that pumps football's beating heart, one that grows increasingly sullied as morally dubious characters purchase cherished clubs, will see footballers untimely ripped from their locales and......