Hackney Council are at it again. Taking half arsed decisions on Banksys. Last time they completely removed a stencil of a girl in a frilly dress and gas mask from Gillett Square. This time they've tried to wipe out the crude phallus being painted by the old fashioned, beard and hat sporting artist on the side of the Vietnamese restaurant in Victoria Park Road. What are they like? A council spokesperson said: "Most people......

Man gets 'stiff sentence' for 'accidentally' sending people pictures of his penis. He thought it would never stand up in court. Great train robber Ronnie Biggs says his life has been wasted. Not at all. Without him, we wouldn't have had that superlative 'Buster' film with Phil Collins. Grandmother dies after being disorientated my mirrors in a shop. Ramsay's treat. Celebrity chef attains his 12th Michelin star. Shortly before being shot, de Menezes alighted......

While SFist cringed at the fatal dose of crime littering the Bay Area, it found solace in Hillary Clinton's San Francisco campaign headquarters opening, which featured loads of exposed mammary glands. In other news, SF Taxi Commission ruled that Satan's cab must keep its (in)famous medallion number, 666; and in an un-fashion-forward frenzy, San Francisco Fashion Week (chortle) bars bloggers from covering and getting smashed at their shows and parties, respectively. Also, they found a......

Ken haters do a major backtrack on election issues. Did Time Out really call Kingston a "flaccid penis"?. The Cutty sark online fundaraiser is pulling in £485 an hour! Our new PM has appointed Sir Alan to help out on business matters. And the Verve are back... again! Photo taken from Matt FM's photostream.......

If people want something to look at while they are in hospital, ask them what they would rather see: a qualified nurse approaching with a fresh bedpan or a dramatic black and white photo of the local area. Neither are particularly appealing especially if you're recovering from surgery but it's an urgent interior decoration dilemma that Kingston Hospital is facing at the moment. In an email leaked last Friday to the London Health Emergency......

Martin Creed: he turned the lights on and off and won the Turner Prize in 2001. He crumpled a sheet of plain A4 paper into a ball and exhibited it as Work No. 88. He filmed people being sick in a pristine, anonymous white room which people watched with the usual furrowed brow and stoic "gallery face." He has a new solo exhibition at Hauser & Wirth Coppermill in East London. He's done his......

Yesterday's penis-hacker-offer has had the old boy reattached! Hooray! The inquest into Diana's death has gone tits up Locals have stopped plans to remodel Sloane Square The Mayor has been on Arab TV asking the Palestinians to give Alan Johnson back. They will surely listen to Ken. Image courtesy of Mondoagogo via the Londonist flickr group.......

Here's a headline you don't see every day: Man hacks off penis in London restaurant Ouch. Maybe he only meant to leave the tip? "This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about... Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out. Then he cut it off. I couldn't believe it." Police said......

Gun crime suspect was found cowering in a shed An Aboriginal leader is on his way to London to stop scientists from drilling holes into his ancestors. House of Fraser have removed a major advertising campaign after complaints that the slogans were racist. A "crippling" tube strike is perhaps on the way . And 55 years of outdoor summer concerts at Kenwood House have come to an end.......

Around 200 hydrogen peroxide bottles are the latest piece of evidence in the July 21 terror case A second protester, this time a BT engineer, has been found guilty of stirring up racial hatred Even the games organisers are worried over the real cost of the Olympics More mice, but this time in Asda and munching on chocolate. Awww And Harry Potter's penis, a horse and some breasts have annoyed some idiots......

Week by week, we've been building up quite a collection of weird and distorted London imagery as part of our Touch Up London series. You know, the weekly slot where readers photoshop images of London, hopefully to a more impressive standard than the Tate penis we use to advertise the column. Hilarity occasionally ensues. As a bit of Christmas fun, we'd like you to vote for your favourite image of the year. Simply click......

Jagshemash! Borat is a hit. It's getting rave reviews, grossing millions, and definitely the most quotable thing we've seen in ages. But Borat seems to have missed most of the -ist cities, and we were all wondering how the film would have been different if he'd made his way around the world on the -ist tour. In Shanghai, Borat would be observing Inane Learnings of Penis Photos for Make Benefit Glorious Flat World of......

LAist has finally come around to purchasing tickets for Clipper Train. Hyper local dating sites are spamming L.A. neighborhoods and the fascinating Dame Darcy talks with LAist about art, the city and earthquakes. DCist rides the Metro in Caracus, Venezuela and sees a few similarities to the District's Metro. The city also mimics L.A. by expanding its Scientology presence and attempts to make like an actual State with votes in Congress and everything. Austinist......

John Reid's a man that we normally don't agree with or even listen to much. He's another of New Labour's mongrel cabinet that shit won't stick to - although it seems somehow fitting that we've ended up with a Secretary of State for Defence who used to hang out in the villa of a Serbian war criminal. Must make those chats with Blair seem like the good old days... But today the attack dog......

Number 27: Window of the Albert Tavern This charming little boozer can be found at 52 Victoria Street. Or should that be Victoria’s treat? For if you look closely at the frosted windows, you’ll notice a blatant representation of what we presume is the late consort’s penis. The august member is artfully depicted at the moment of discharge, with a stream of manspatter tastefully woven into a delicate melange of foliage and woodland scenery. The......

It's not often you hear of efforts to get an eleven year old and a nine year old to shag each other senseless by forcing them to sniff old boots. Well not on the corner of the Internet that we hang around on anyway. We are of course talking tigers. Raika and Lumper need a little help getting in the mood (perhaps having something to do with swapping the romantic climes of Indonesia with......

Channel 4 is going mad for the cock this week - more so than usual, even. We hope Armin Meiwes is tuning in from his prison cell - in between trying to sue Rammstein, that is. Es ist mein Teil, but a man's relationship with his dick isn't as straightforward as all that, or so TV Troll understands. 4's willy strand will explore the conflicting emotions that arise (aha ha ha) from this tricky......

All the works featured in this stalk are also mapped on Platial. US-born Jacob Epstein (1880-1959) is a colossal figure in 20th Century sculpture. Controversial could almost be his middle name. His various works around London caused outrage in their day, but are now in danger of being forgotten. Perhaps his most powerful work on show in the capital is ‘Jacob and the Angel’ underneath the central dome of Tate Britain. Being indoors, this......

Last night, the Literary Review presented the award which “draws attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel". This year there was stiff competition from some very big players, but at the end of the day the best man retrieved the ham midget - so to speak - and to celebrate this accolade, Londonist has included extracts from the 2005 shortlist for you to......

You've no doubt seen the posters for Battle in Heaven around town in the last few weeks. They're quite attention-grabbing thanks to the pair of young, naked breasts on prominent display and the promise of 'real sex' in the tagline. As a marketing tool it works, but it doesn't really tell you too much about the film, that job is left to this week's broadsheet reviewers who are decidedly split, two against one, over......

When we read the headline 'Orgies and battles' promised at Paul McCarthy's pirate theme park in today's G2 we misread the artist's name as Paul McCartney and immediately re-examined our judgment of the Beatilic one - imagining the ghost of John Lennon made animatronic and Yoko One made apologetic thanks to a long walk along a short plank. Then our eyes came into focus again and we shoved McCartney back into the file marked......

Vegetarians on the Londonist staff are in the minority, but we'd be amiss not to mention National Vegetarian Week that kicks off today with the double entendre tagline Can You Keep it up for a Week?! Normally when we have a cheese and pickle sandwich for lunch we try our best not to picture an erect penis, but the Vegetarian Society thinks that this will "generate lots of press interest – humorous or otherwise!".......

We weren't really looking forward to trawling through the Kingdom of Heaven reviews this week. To be honest, historical epics are starting to bore us and we can do without seeing any more of Orlando Bloom brandishing oversized weapons while his hair gently shifts in the breeze...and it seems we're not alone. Pete Bradshaw can only bring himself to give Kingdom of heaven two stars in his, frankly brilliant, review in today's Guardian. It......

We awoke this morning to a little glimmer of gold hidden among the dirty rocks of viagra, penis extensions and offers of money from Nigeria that form the Londonist email folder. Flickr, one of our all time favourite online innovations, sent us the following happy tidings: You may have heard on the grapevine that we planned to reward our dear Flickr members who bought a Pro Account in the early days. Well, it's true!......

We don't want to give too much space over to rock wanker Justin Hawkins and his new wax model over at Madame Tussauds so we'll just give a quick run down of things we wish you could do to his effigy instead of simply playing air guitar in front of it: Punch its waxy teeth in Have the real Justin encased inside the wax by a reanimated Vincent Price Donate ear wax to help......

The XFM site has exclusive pictures of GLC's London 'rally', which took place this afternoon. The band had asked fans to congregate in Leicester Square at 1.00pm for what they called "a little jaunt around Soho" to celebrate the release of their new single Your Mother's Got a Penis. As well as fans dressed in tracksuits and sun visors, the band also brought along a special team of 'chavettes' (Burberry mini skirts and Croydon......