Football clubs should, generally, stick to football. Staines Town FC decided to try out rifle-shooting, and as a consequence has managed to ruffle a lot of feathers. Apparently, the cleaner at the ground had been having huge problems keeping the stands spick and span. The mess wasn't caused by football fans leaving their rubbish behind (or indeed the broken dreams discarded by the team - the 'Staines Massive' are still a bit of a......

While pigeons are getting a bit of stick today, heartwarming news of sparrows getting new homes at London Zoo courtesy of prisoners in Spring Hill prison balances the scale somewhat. After a long absence, sparrows have come back to London and are being housed in ten brand new bird boxes built by prisoners at Spring Hill prison in Buckinghamshire. The question "Where have all the sparrows gone?" crops up again and again in nostalgia-tinged......

Remember the pigeon feeding turf wars of 2006? Well, the Pigeon Action Group are back in the news. A candlelit vigil was held at midday today on Trafalgar Square's north terrace (in daylight?) to highlight the plight of the poor starving birds. Westminster City Council closed the loophole that had allowed certain pigeon protestors to feed the birds on a daily basis back in September to make the public square more hygenic and pleasant.......

Londonist asks that most pressing of daily concerns: where to go on your lunch break. Betjeman’s 44 Cloth Fair EC1A 7JQ Nearest Tube: Farringdon 0207 600 7778 12pm-3pm for Lunch(Monday-Friday) 6pm-9pm for Dinner (Monday-Friday) 12pm-11pm for drinks (Monday-Friday) Map Expect to Pay: £10 or more for lunch Rating: 8 out of 10 Across the street from celebrated Club Gascon (with a list of accolades out its coulis) and hardly more than a belly roll......

Bomb scare hoax caller convicted Met mutiny over backdating payrise Pigeon flypast for pet heroes £14m of fake pound coins land counterfeiter in jail Dobbey the Enfield reindeer goes to the pub Image courtesy of Ian Muttoo via the Londonist flickr group.......

Thanks to a new grant, previously unseen areas of St Paul’s may be opened to the public. The £250,000 pot from the World Monument’s Fund, could see a new ‘exploration centre’ in the crypt, and access to the Trophy Room, containing Wren’s original model. But what else might we find when they open up more of St Paul’s? 1. God. 2. Thousands of tourists 3. A couple of Londoners 4. Lara Croft’s entombed remains......

Londonist goes to church and gets stuck up a ladder covered in pigeon shit. Before we start, we’d just like to say something to the Russians. Oy! Stop nicking our church designs, and repurposing them into spacecraft. Only we’re allowed to do that. Thank you. Right, on with business. We’ve all seen St Anne’s, Soho. It’s pretty much the only tall churchy thing in Soho, sitting behind a junkie-proof fence to the South of Wardour......

Meet Language. Based in East London (but not defined by it!), they've chosen their myspace category to be "melodramatic popular song", are obsessed with falafel, like dressing in black, have a song called "Theme for a Porno", record on Hornsey Road and were screwed out of a producer by Kate Nash. They're not bitter mind. We were going to tell you our favourite song but having just listened to them all again on myspace......

Anybody who's spent an afternoon walking around Upper Street, iBook in hand, trying to log on to Islington council's "Technology Mile" service may smirk, but a new report says Londoners are the most wifi-happy people on the planet. According to the Wi-Fi Hotspot Index, networks set up by the likes of BT and The Cloud in London account for one tenth of the UK's wireless usage, and just over 1% of the worldwide total......

We Brits love our birds and animals. We love to shrinkwrap their body parts and burn them on bbqs on a Sunday afternoon, we love to take them for long walks in the park and we love to watch their majestic beauty on BBC documentaries with a Sigur Ros soundtrack. What we won't countenance is letting the little buggers run free in our green and grey and pleasant land. They do tend to shit......

Film maker extraordinaire Quentin Tarantino has arrived in the UK to promote the DVD release of his latest film, Death Proof. Nothing newsworthy in that per se. But the whens, whos and wherefores of this publicity event are nothing short of astonishing. Londonist has learnt that the movie icon snucked (or was dragged) along to Wimbledon Dog Stadium on Monday evening where he watched the likes of Shayne Ward, Charlie Simpson (from Busted) and a......

Sting starts Thames race, then goes from river police to rhythm Police, as the old band reunites for Twickenham concert. The real police are going to start using lie detectors in Lambeth (to detect trapeze artists). Trafalgar Square pigeon congestion charge gets an extended zone. Puma sighting. Again. This is getting tedious now. Can someone spot something more original like a numbat or a vampire octopus? Image of The Gathering Scottish festival courtesy of......

Do you want to go and see some Peregrine Falcons? We were enjoying ourselves today on a leisurely stroll along the South Bank (home of London's finest avian encounters) when we stumbled upon the RSPB outside the Tate Modern. They had four telescopes pointed up at the central tower. To the naked eye nothing could be seen but with the help of the lens the beautiful creatures were a delight to watch. The birds......

Okay, so we hold up our hands. Yesterday we completely forgot to do “Ticket Alerts”… and thus most of you will probably have your tickets when I tell you what gigs are on sale today. Foo Fighters have announced that they’re doing a two night stint at the O2 on Saturday and Sunday 17th and 18th November. There are now only seats left for either date unfortunately, at £32.50. Though keep your eyes peeled, more......

Emma Hutchins' one woman show embodies its own ethos of "having it all". Written and performed by the woman herself, she rises to the occasion delivering 3 familiar yet absorbing Bridget Jones-esque monologues and throwing in some Japanese Butoh for good measure. Ambitious? Yes. Misguided? Certainly not. Butoh is a dance form where each move is initiated by emotional truth. Isobel's entrancing, effortful progress from prone to standing to intensely, baby pigeon steps forward......

Monday night sees Tom “Squarepusher” Jenkinson bring his experimental drum'n'bass with a heavy jazz fusion influence to Queen Elizabeth Hall in the Southbank Centre. Evan Parker supports, and this is sold out unfortunately, though be sure to check back for last minute availability or other sources. Lily Allen places her summer session at Somerset house, with support from Mark Ronson. Tickets are long gone, though Scarlet Mist may be useful for some. The Dykeenies bring......

iTunes announced a few weeks ago that they'll host a month of gigs at the ICA throughout July. Tiny gigs for many of the bands, the ICA holds only 350 people, and each gig will be professionally recorded to be available on iTunes. The events features some of today's biggest bands, with the likes of Londonist favourites Mika along with Stereophonics, Amy Winehouse, Editors, Groove Armada and Duke Special all gracing the stage throughout......

We're editorially impartial when it comes to pigeons. So the balance needed redressing after we portrayed the birds in a subservient role last week. So here's a memorial to the humble rock dove, standing proudly over a reconquered Trafalgar Square. Meanwhile, over on Pigeon Blog, Brian the blogging pigeon is compiling a guidebook for avian visitors to the capital. If you have any hints and tips, go leave him some comments. Keep sending in......

If you’ve ever boarded a Tube train after it has reached the end of its line and is preparing to make the return journey, you will have had the experience of wading knee-deep in London’s best cat tray liners – the freesheets. Folded neatly on every seat, splayed across every square inch of floor space and perched haphazardly on every ledge are those peons of journalistic greatness, the Metro, thelondonpaper and London Lite. Together......

This week's entry is from Stoofus. After Ken's clampdown in Trafalgar Square, Westminster decided to further demonstrate man's mastery over the pigeon by installing a hapless avian in their new 'cuckoo clock'. Keep sending your doctored images of the capital to londonist - at - gmail - dotcom......

Tickets are going on sale at the moment for a lot of the Autumn gigs, so be sure to get your diaries out for this little collection of gems to catch soon. Everyone loves the Manic Street Preachers, and they've just announced a new full UK tour, where they'll be playing Brixton Academy on Tuesday 11th December. They're on sale slightly later than other tickets at 9:30 on Friday. KT Tunstall brings her own......

No matter what your opinion of the 2012 olympics, we're now all helpless to stop it and we won't be able to get away from it for five years so in a Stockholm Syndrome-like way we should all come to love our captors and get excited. After a video treasure hunt across the web, today the branding was launched. How was it to represent London? Would it be all beefeaters and black cabs? The......

This Week In London’s History Monday – 28th May 1908: Ian Fleming, creator of the character of James Bond and author of more than a dozen novels featuring the British agent, is born in Mayfair. He also wrote Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Tuesday – 29th May 1886: The current Putney Bridge is opened by the Prince and Princess of Wales, replacing an earlier bridge that was built in 1729. Wednesday – 30th May 1972:......

This Week In London’s History Monday – 30th April 1999: “London nailbomber” David Copeland plants his last bomb, in the Admiral Duncan pub in Soho. Three people are killed and dozens are injured. Tuesday – 1st May 2000: The May Day anti-capitalism protests bring mass violence and vandalism to central London. On the same day one year later, police detain thousands of protesters and unwitting bystanders in Oxford Circus for about 6 hours. Wednesday......

Lots of stuff to get through today, but we're starting small (sort of) with the immortalisation (sort of) of old favourite Tox as pictured above. Cheers to dr seagate for the link and photo. It's not quite the Tate Modern, but it's a (small) step in the right direction. More small wonders here and the press page features our favourite headline; Canaray Dwarf. Onto bigger things. Sherlock Holmes is making yet another comeback according......

If you can't get a ticket to see France at Twickenham on Sunday then get yourself down to Blackheath on Saturday afternoon where the England Counties rugby union side, made up of amateur and semi-professional players from outside the Premiership, entertain their French counterparts. The England Counties side, launched in 2002, beat the French 29-16 on their home soil in their last meeting, but this weekend they're coming off a narrow 20-17 away defeat......

Spring appears to have, er, sprung, at least temporarily, in most of the Ist-A-Verse, so naturally, we're all feeling pretty good. (Yes, we know that spring doesn't officially start till later this month. Just let us enjoy our weather!) And that makes us that much more eager to share all of the nifty things we're up to... Over at Sampaist, spring has more than sprung: it's sweltering! But, as everyone knows, museums are an ideal......

Solution to gangs idea # 456: A group of mothers is using text messages to fight truancy and help keep youngsters away from gang culture. Parents with children at Addington High School in Croydon, south London, took action after a spate of stabbings. If a child is seen out of school their mother is sent a text message alerting them to where and when they were spotted and if they were safe. What if......

No London connection (yet), but this story caught our eye this morning: Scientists in eastern China say they have succeeded in controlling the flight of pigeons with micro electrodes planted in their brains, state media reported on Tuesday. Scientists at the Robot Engineering Technology Research Centre at Shandong University of Science and Technology said ther electrodes could command them to fly right or left or up or down, Xinhua news agency said. "The implants......

We love BBC America's anglophenia because it's always interesting to see what the other side of the pond thinks about the happenings in our own little goldfish bowl. This post, however, tackled a more serious subject than the usual pop culture geography when anglophenia popped over here for a visit: The next 20 minutes or so I spent were both familiar and frustrating. I stood alongside Shaftesbury Avenue with my arm extended nearly vertically,......